GOVERNMENT
PIGEONS ARE GOVERNMENT DRONES — COVID ACCIDENTALLY PROVED IT
Millions disappeared from American streets during lockdown. Officials still refuse to explain where they went.
TAGGED INTELLIGENCE
#government
GOVERNMENT
5 GOVERNMENT SECRETS HIDDEN IN YOUR COSTCO RECEIPT
We enlarged one receipt 900%. We regret everything.
GOVERNMENT
PENTAGON PRINTER REFUSES TO PRINT PAGE 2, CLEARLY KNOWS TOO MUCH
Officials blame a paper jam. The printer has retained counsel.
GOVERNMENT
LOCAL MAN SAYS GOVERNMENT REPLACED CLOUDS WHILE EVERYONE WAS LOOKING AT THEIR PHONES
Meteorologists insist clouds remain mostly water. He has screenshots.
CLASSIFIED
WE FOUND THE SECRET 51st STATE. IT HAS A GIFT SHOP.
Our map was wrong, our compass was broken and somehow the souvenir mug is dishwasher safe.
GOVERNMENT
WHY DOES YOUR FRIDGE LIGHT TURN OFF WHEN THE DOOR CLOSES? WE PUT A REPORTER INSIDE.
The investigation lasted nine seconds and violated several appliance recommendations.