A warehouse receipt is supposed to tell you what you bought. Ours told us that, plus several things we absolutely did not ask to know. After a routine bulk-shopping trip produced 47 inches of thermal paper, the newsroom placed the receipt under a desk lamp and made the mistake of taking it seriously.
1. THE NUMBER THAT APPEARS THREE TIMES
A six-digit sequence appears beside paper towels, again below frozen dumplings and once near the tax line. A retail analyst says it is an internal item code. We say that is exactly what an internal item code would want us to think.
2. THE MYSTERIOUS “A”
Several products carry a single letter. Tax classification explains this efficiently, which is disappointing. We briefly considered “Agent,” “Anomaly” and “Albuquerque.” Accounting voted for “A taxable category” and was asked to leave the meeting.
3. YOUR TOTAL KNOWS TOO MUCH
The final amount matched our bank statement to the cent. That level of coordination between two corporations made everyone uncomfortable for approximately six seconds.
4. THE TIME STAMP
The receipt accurately recorded when we checked out. We had not authorized the paper to know this.
5. THE EXIT CHECK
Finally, a stranger at the door drew a line across the receipt after looking at our cart. Retailers call this loss prevention. In intelligence work, a marked document leaving a controlled facility has another name. We bought 36 rolls of toilet paper and accidentally entered the surveillance state.