AL
ESCAPED 2019STAFF FILE #A-51
MEET AL
Senior Extraterrestrial Correspondent
AL says he spent 47 years inside Area 51 before escaping during what government officials later described as “a scheduling issue.” He currently covers UFOs, government secrecy, human behavior and Costco.
- AGE
- Unknown. Claims to be 34.
- BIRTHPLACE
- [REDACTED]
- SPECIALTIES
- Area 51 · Surveillance · Human Confusion · Bulk Snacks
“Humans invented machines that travel 17,000 miles per hour and still charge $7 for airport water.”