The first person to notice him was not a cryptozoologist. It was a teenager waiting for register six to approve an energy drink. According to three shoppers, a seven-foot figure covered in dark hair entered the self-checkout area shortly before closing and behaved with the weary competence of someone who had done this before.
HE BROUGHT HIS OWN BAGS
Witnesses disagree about the face, the height and whether the creature smelled like pine needles. They agree on the reusable bags. He scanned bananas, oatmeal, batteries and an industrial quantity of beef jerky. He rejected the protection plan.
The machine said “unexpected item in bagging area” and he looked personally offended.— — shopper at register five
THE BANANA INCIDENT
The only disturbance occurred when the kiosk asked for a produce code. The creature stared at the screen for nearly a minute, then looked toward the forest-facing side of the building as if reconsidering civilization. An employee entered the code for him. No words were exchanged.
Security footage has not been released. Store management would confirm only that “all customers are welcome when wearing appropriate footwear.” Witnesses say Bigfoot was barefoot, which raises a separate policy question we are not prepared to litigate.